I Am Disappointed


I Am Disappointed

He’s over 70 years old. And he is writing from the point-of-view of an 18-year-old girl. That should have raised warning flags. But the premise was irresistible: a naive mountain prodigy enters the storied halls of Dupont University (an Ivy League composite) and must navigate through all the trappings of a modern, prestigious university with her values, virginity, and intellectual curiosity still intact. As a big fan of the man in white, Tom Wolfe, I had to give him the benefit of the doubt. Although I’m not finished with the 674-page refrigerator-sized book, so far I’m agreeing with the critics who panned I Am Charlotte Simmons.

Everyone knows America is a country of subcultures. I Am Charlotte SimmonsNo matter how obscure your interest, there is a Yahoo community feverishly discussing its finer points. I couldn’t wait to find out how such a master of detail would unravel some of Dupont’s campus factions. But so far I am reading about some jocks, frat boys, and a newspaper group. Imagine an activities kiosk at an American university, plastered with colorful flyers promoting every organization imaginable. Why aren’t we learning about the secret worlds of some of these groups? Jocks and frats?

When it comes to pop culture, Wolfe is almost clueless. Take profanity. In an early scene, Wolfe writes “You’re gonna have one totally pissed off–”pissed off” parent storming into that school and raising holy hell.” He actually put “pissed off” in quotes to let us know that this is how the character speaks. I don’t think even an 85-year-old reader would need that kind of hand holding. Another quote incident was “hit on.” As in, the guy “hit on” the girl. Please. And the author is almost prudish when it comes to subjects like hip hop. It’s no secret that a lot of rap lyrics are vulgar and inane but would there ever be a major rapper named “Doctor Dis,” with rhymes like this?

On the “Vos Saluto” page, Wolfe thanks all the citizens of “an eden in North Carolina’s Blue Ridge Mountains, Alleghany County.” Wolfe traveled to this isolated hamlet to help construct the protaganist, Charlotte. If he actually visited this place then he should know they actually have access to a lot of the same media as everyone else. Charlotte had never even seen a Cosmo magazine! Until arriving at Dupont, the poor thing did not know what a blowjob was. Take me to any rural, backwoods, secluded hollow in the country and you will find kids playing Halo 2 and crunking it up to Lil’ John. They know what’s up.

Sarah has interacted with many undergraduate students over the past five years at UT. Most of them seem like pretty good people, she has told me. “I just don’t like how every single student in this book is either despicable or pathetic. They have no redeeming qualities. This is just an unfair, innacurate portrayal of these students.” Still, despite our criticisms, we’re certainly not putting this book down. If you’re looking for something to read for the holidays you might give it a shot.

Soul Sisters

I don’t have the guts to do a full Top Ten Trends for 2005 list. But here’s three:
1) There will be an alarming increase in the number of cougar attacks in the US.
2) This is the year IE takes a big hit. Firefox and others (Google?) will do the damage.
3) Disco.

Speaking of disco, I’m a little baffled by the dizzying ascension of the campy Scissor Sisters. Sure, all rock and pop music is recycled but this band’s sound is so shamelessly derivative. But I really want to like them. Despite a NYC address and their total domination of the UK, it turns out the band has Kentucky roots. In fact, the Sisters’ Scott Hoffman (aka, um, Babydaddy) is a proud alum of St. Michael’s, the Episcopalian school where my mom teaches kindergarten. NPR’s Alison MacAdam recently caught up with Hoffman, her best friend from kindergarten (she attended St. Michael’s as well). It turns out the two of them lived parallel lives in Lexington. Both were outsiders. “I didn’t fit in. And neither did Scott… Scott was gay and Jewish. I was a tomboy and a nerd. Lexington, a city of about 200,000 people then, wasn’t the most diverse or accepting place. Football, basketball, and cheerleading were what mattered. Gay was not OK. Scott said he didn’t know anyone growing up who was out of the closet. As far as being Jewish, in Lexington there were only enough Jews for two synagogues. After graduating high school, Scott moved to New York City…”