Shallow Jean Pool

I had planned to go the Martin Luther King Day march from Huston-Tillotson College to the Capitol but instead went to the mall. I would assuage my guilt by buying something. My goal, I would decide, was to procure a pair of dark blue, regular-fitting jeans. Brand did not matter. Price was not a huge concern. A Banana Republic gift card has been burning a hole in my wallet so I went there first. I approached the clerk and said, “Sir, I’m looking for a dark blue pair of jeans that aren’t baggy or anything.” He pointed me to some new styles along the wall. I picked up a pair and looked them over. They were midnight blue–almost black, with nice yellow stitching. They looked good. As I walked to the dressing room, I noticed the tag read “relaxed fit.” This would mean that they weren’t a relaxed fit, but an ultra-baggy, completely unacceptable cut. Sure enough, they were huge. I felt like I should have some Timberlands on or something. If these were sold at a store like Pac Sun, they would be called “Pipes.” The clerk said I should go to Structure where they have several styles. Structure was way worse. Over-the-boot, baggy utility pants, yellow-washed, and flared jeans are the only thing they carried. Again I asked,”I’m looking for a dark blue pair of jeans that aren’t baggy. Do you have any?” He looked at me like I had asked him to justify his existence. “Um, we don’t sell anything like that.” A stroll over to J Crew produced similar results. As I neared the store, I could see in the display window that all the jeans had an unmistakable flare to them. When will this trend die? It’s awful. I think my choices are to either shell out $125+ for a certain style of Diesels that fit well, or continue with Levi’s from Sears.

At one time, I could count on flipping through a new Transworld or Slap and see some dope fits. But that is getting more difficult. It seems the industry is going in a few different directions. One style is the super-tight jean wearing, gutter punx style of the Baker set. Then you have Zoo York and Shorty’s, whose riders are still kicking the early/mid 90’s hip-hop baggy look. So played out, yo. Finally there is the more subdued, clean approach of Girl, Chocolate, Four Star, and Droors that I feel more comfortable with. But I was horrifed recently when checking out some Four Star jeans at Tekgnar and they were way baggy and tech, with some sort of multi-pocket thing going on.

An important attribute to the perfect pair of jeans is good “fall.” My friend Brian invented the word, although the concept was probably intuitive up to that point. The fall is basically how your jeans bunch up at the shoe. Good fall will cause a slight ripple in the jeans, beginning at the knee, and proceed to your ankle. Bad fall might include jeans that are too baggy, either sending the cuff way over the shoe or even worse, tapering at the top of the shoe, but going all over the place in the shin area. Other fall to avoid is the kind that doesn’t create any ripple. I’ve found that an effective test for good fall is to try the jeans on, sit on a normal-sized chair. You should just see just a hint of your socks. If you sit up a bit and yank the each leg down a tad, there will probably be no sock showing at all. The rarest jean you can find, but one that is highly sought, is the dark blue jean with fall so perfect that they work well with your smooth skate kicks as well as your wallabies or black oxfords.

January 22nd, 2003